I wasn’t sure whether to share this or not, but was encouraged to for the benefit of others. Insha’Allah I pray it helps you in some way.

About 3 years ago, a strange thing happened to me. It was actually one of the best things I experienced but the way it happened was so mysterious and wonderful that I have no doubt in my mind it was a sign of how majestic and loving Allah `azza wa jall is. Even if we are not deserving of that.

Some of you know how atypical my hifdh journey was, and perhaps one day I’ll share some aspects of it to help students insha’Allah. But of the many wondrous incidents that happened during my journey, this was perhaps the greatest.

After many years, obstacles, tears, blood and sweat, I completed my hifdh a few years ago alhamdulillah. Now, I’m not and was never some great person with accolades and achievements; I’m really just simple and much prefer that. But in the years that followed my khatmah, a lot of people kept pushing me towards getting an Ijazah now that I had ‘done hifdh’. But, I wasn’t so sure. I mostly just nodded and agreed but as is always the case, the logical me took over and I quickly pushed the idea away, banishing it to some fantasy area of my mind. Who was I to even think of it?? Don’t get me wrong, it fascinated me and it was a dream… but I was also very fearful of it – it seemed like such a mammoth undertaking and one that I was sure I was unprepared for.

So anyway, I continued with my revision classes until one day my teacher, Shaykh Muhammad, brought up the mention of Ijazah.

Shaykh: “Revise this section very well so you can pass the exam.”
Me: “Exam?”
Shaykh: “Yes, you don’t want to take Ijazah?”
Me: “Erm, ijazah? I… err, I don’t know…”

Yes, I really was that silly. I was at the time studying at an institute which was known for its rigorous Ijazah system and that’s one thing I knew all too well. But my teacher kept encouraging me and that encouragement planted something in my heart. So, against all fear and emotion, I decided to go for the exam. But I had one problem… my stay in Cairo was coming to an end and my plane ticket was a short time away. That basically meant I had ONE chance at this exam. If I didn’t pass it, I wouldn’t make it. So I consulted my parents, my teacher, my flatmate, and everyone told me to just do it.

So, the day came for my exam. I remember it very well; it was a cold winter’s Thursday when I stepped into the institute and was told to go to a room to be tested. I sat down, took deep breaths, mentally prepared myself and waited for my teacher to come in. But instead, another shaykh came in. I was mortified. It was a Shaykh who I was petrified of! You know those kinda teachers who never smile and were they to look in your direction, you think you’ve offended them somehow or angered them in some way? Yes, that kind of teacher. I had no idea he was going to do my testing. Now, I have a small problem in situations like this – I can’t recite fluently in front of people I don’t know lol. I’m not even joking; my nerves always get the better of me. And here I was, in front of Scary Shaykh attempting the exam of my life. Yep, I just deflated right there and then.

He cleared his throat and told me to recite from a random verse. Alhamdulillah I knew whereabouts it was, so I picked it up. But as I recited, I started to get nervous and lo and behold, I went blank after a few verses. ‘Noo,’ I thought to myself. ‘Calm down!’ I was pinching myself on the leg, digging my nail into my finger lol – anything to get my mind away from my nerves. But it was no use, I panicked. The Shaykh, bless him, gave me time and then gave me another verse (he was actually very nice masha’Allah). But I did the same thing. A third chance at another verse, but still, my initial panic had well and truly thrown me off.

After several questions (some which I miraculously got, but most which I gloriously failed), he told me to go back and revise and then come back to take the exam again. I tried to explain that I was just nervous and I could probably do this better but he looked at me like I was the weirdest human being to walk by him in his life, so I gathered my things so fast and legged it out of there.

It would be an understatement to say I was disappointed. I felt utterly defeated and like a complete idiot and failure all in one. My ONE chance and I ruined it. I think I was even harder on myself because I love studying and I don’t mean to blow my own trumpet, but I had never failed an exam in school (ok, I blew the trumpet a little bit haha). But yeah I went home in tears – real tears subhan’Allah. I was devastated.

My flatmate met me with a huge smile and asked me how it all went. I pushed past her and told her I failed.

Me: “I knew it! I knew if I panicked even a little that I would mess up!”
Flatmate: “Oh subhan’Allah. Look, don’t worry, try again and insha’Allah next time you’ll pass.”
Me: “There is no next time, sis. I’m flying out remember?”

My flatmate took a deep breath, thought for a moment and then said something which I agreed to out of politeness, but actually just pushed aside mentally. However it didn’t leave me subhan’Allah.

She said: “Pray Istikharah. Allah can do anything, even if you think it’s impossible.”

So that night I prayed. I submitted and relinquished control, and asked that if indeed, this ijazah was good for me, to bring it to me somehow and to be bless it for me, because I was done. I wasn’t going to chase it.

What happened next was truly a Sign from Allah above, that no human being could ever have constructed and no living thing could’ve planned out. Exactly three days later, I received a phone call. It was a friend of mine who was also my teacher at one point. Her name was Fatima.

Fatima: “As-salamu `alaykum, Farhia. I was wondering if you can do me a favour?”
Me: “Wa `alaykumusalam ukhti. Yeah sure, what’s up?”
Fatima: “Do you know a centre called Jannah al-Ma’wa?”
Me: “Yes, it’s not too far from my house.”
Fatima: “Oh excellent! I need to go there on Thursday, please can you give me directions?”

Directions in Cairo don’t get you very far so I offered to take her myself. We met up and I led the way to the centre. I had never been inside, but just passed it enough times to know where it was. As we walked in, Fatima went ahead to talk to reception while I waited, and a few moments later, she was called into a room.

Fatima: “Oh, come with me, Farhia.”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Fatima: “Yes, I don’t want to meet the Shaykh on my own.”
Me: “What Shaykh?!”

Too late… we were already being shooed inside. Wallahi, when I saw the Shaykh, my eyes and mouth flew open. I think I must apologise to every Shaykh I’ve met in Egypt; I must look like a right spectacle each and every time! Before you all jump to conclusions, no, it wasn’t the teacher who took my exam. This was Shaykh al-Munshid. The Shaykh of my Shaykh at that time. I once took an open class with him many years ago and because he was so respected and the class was way above my grade (don’t ask how I sneaked in), I took a back seat and tried to blend in with the wallpaper.

Shaykh M: “As-salamu `alaykum, my dear daughters. Come in. How can I help you?”

I left Fatima to do all the talking as I realised I didn’t know exactly what we were doing. She explained that she was looking for certification in Qur’an as she was training to be a teacher at al-Azhar university. He was delighted to meet a budding teacher and they spoke for a while about it.

Then he said: “So you want to begin your Ijazah now?”
Fatima: “Yes insha’Allah.”
Shaykh M: “And you want to do it in the riwayah of Hafs and Shu’bah?”
Fatima: “Yes.”
Shaykh M: “Ok, let me hear you recite a portion of Qur’an.”

Fatima proceeded to recite and at the end, he nodded and said it was fine, she could go through. I watched all this unfold slowly before my eyes. But I never in a million years expected what happened next.

He then turned to me and said: “What about you?”

I might as well have been tasered lol. I shot up straight and said “Sorry, what did you say?”

Shaykh M: “You’re from that institute. You completed Qur’an right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Shaykh: “You will also do your ijazah with Fatima, insha’Allah. Yalla, recite some Qur’an so I can assess you too.” Subhan’Allah, it wasn’t even an option.
Me (already fretting): “What do you want me to read?”
Shaykh: “Anything.”
Me: “Ok… Surah al-Fatihah?”
Shaykh: “Go right ahead.”

Lol. I couldn’t believe it. At the time I wasn’t too sure but later it was confirmed… that was my entry exam. My Ijazah exam actually ended up being Surah al-Fatihah. Subhan’Allah. It was partly because he was familiar with the rigorous system I explained before and trusted his student (my teacher) on my hifdh. He actually rang him to confirm who I was!

I began to overthink and told him that I would love to recite and take the Ijazah but I was due to flight out next month.

Shaykh: “Don’t worry. You will finish in 3 weeks insha’Allah. Do you know such and such masjid in District 10?”
Me: “Yes, I think so.”
Shaykh: “Come there every day from Sunday to Wednesday, for as long as you can, and come to this centre on Saturday. I’ll be in both places to hear you recite.”
Me: “Subhan’Allah, that’s so generous of you, Shaykh. Jazak’Allahu khayran!”
Shaykh: “If the travel is too much, you can even stay over my house and eat with my family – whatever it takes to complete your Ijazah before you travel. Insha’Allah you will leave this city with it.”

Allahu Akbar. Truly, He doesn’t disappoint. My head was seriously spinning. I couldn’t believe it. Less than a week ago I was in tears and gave up on this altogether, and today it was being brought it me like this. What moved me to the core was that this was my own teacher’s teacher… the realisation dawned on me that perhaps Allah had let me ‘fail’ the previous exam because it He wanted me to take this route which skipped an entire level (even a generation) in the chain of narration between the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and myself. I pushed back tears and just let the events unfold around me. Subhan’Allah… little insignificant me, who isn’t worth an atom in Your Sight. But You are Majestic, and You are Powerful, and You run all the affairs of this world. Subhanak.

That day, I came home and wrote up a blog post. I couldn’t do anything else to be honest – my head was still spinning trying to make sense of it all. Apart from my flatmate and some family members, I never really told anyone of what happened as I took time to digest it myself. But it taught me a powerful lesson in life which I jotted down in this piece below. Some of you will remember it:

“Sometimes, a single failure can open the greatest doors to success. If you face an obstacle or fail at a particular point, never be saddened or grieved. Instead prepare yourself for the most amazing journey. Perhaps, just perhaps, Allah will redirect you through another route; a shortcut you never knew of, which will take you through breathtaking scenery and vast open space. Perhaps, just perhaps, it was better you failed because what you were aiming for was nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to what He has in store for you and will soon show you on this path.

Trust yourself at the point of your failure. But more importantly, trust the One Who allowed that pitfall to occur. Know that there is a reason for it, and right now, the reason may be veiled from you for a greater reason. Trust that things will turn around and the One Who was leading you then is still leading you now and is still in control of your affairs, even though your hands have left the steering wheel.

Trust Allah and keep going. Open your eyes to the different doors, ways and avenues that He opens for you. You will always see that whatever happened, was truly for the best.

… Because sometimes you see, it is a single failure that opens the greatest doors to success. Alhamdulillah <3

I don’t share the story to just recall events or boast in any way (I’m a complete nobody), but I share to give hope to everyone who struggles with this or any affair in their life. Keep the faith and keep hope in Allah. Trust Him, hold onto Him, submit to Him. He will soon show you in one way or another and He will not disappoint you insha’Allah.

Wa billahi-tawfiq.