In his book ‘Al-Tibyan fi Adaab Hamalat al-Qur’aan’, Imam al-Nawawi says when describing the true student of the Qur’an:
“And from the recommended etiquettes is that he (or she 🙂 ) strives with his studies at all times in which he is able (to study). He should not be satisfied with a little when he is capable of much, and he should not overburden himself in case he becomes bored or loses what he has attained – and this will differ with people and situations.
He should exert effort and make himself work hard (to attain the ‘ilm) during his free time when he is active, has strength of body and sharpness of mind… indeed ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (ra) said “Gain understanding before gaining leadership” meaning strive hard whilst you are followers before you become leaders because truly, once you’ve become leaders who are followed, you’ll be prevented from learning and studying due to your high rank and busyness. And this is also the meaning of Imam al-Shafi’ee’s saying “Gain understanding (of the deen) before becoming a leader for when you become a leader, there will be no path to tafaqquh (gaining understanding of this Deen).”
al-Tibyan fi Adaab Hamalat al-Qur’aan
By Imam al-Nawawi
Published by Maktabat al-Safaa
I highly recommend this book by al-Nawawi to every serious student of the Qur’aan. It’s absolutely amazing and really shows you the seriousness of what it means to be a companion & student of the Qur’aan.
I was fortunate enough to find a copy in one of the bookstores of Soor al-Azbekiyyah (Cairo market) because I actually didn’t think it was one of the published works of al-Nawawi… it’s pretty rare!
wa alaikum assalaam,
there is also a translation- http://www.astrolabe.com/product/939/Etiquette_with_the_Quran.html
(Etiquette with the Quran, trans. Musa Furber)
that was one of my first islamic books 🙂
subhaanAllah, I feel that this advice really applies to mothers as well as leaders. The serious time for study, fully focused and dedicated, generally ends with children. I feel that all I have time for now is patch ups: if I find a small issue I do have time to research it, but not in-depth study of an usool or something like that. may Allah give me the tawfeeq to accomplish greater islamic knowledge despite the time constraints.
u said u waz doing a short break
changed mind huh?
u love us 2 much.
Wa ‘alaykum as-salaam wa Rahmat Allahi wa Barakaatuhu,
SubhanAllah, Sr. Asma said she thinks about mothers, and the first thought that came to my mind was a father as a “leader” of his family.
I suppose this is a bit of a tangent, but considering the enormous responsibility that goes into raising a family (especially the influence you have over your children as “leaders”), the act of leading frightens me more than the physical pain associated with pregnancy and delivery. May Allah make us of those who fulfill their duties (as leaders of families, children, etc) in a way that pleases Him and make us of those who are prepared for the task of leadership. May He grant us an understanding of the deen. Ameen.
Lol, yeah I guess you lot are too special! 🙂 I was actually doing something that was supposed to take 2 months but alhamdulillah got it wrapped up in a month. Finally, all those ‘Time Management’ courses are paying off 😀
Asma, I had no idea the book had been translated into English! Jazakillahu khayran
This is something that unfortunately rings true for many sisters (and even brothers) & by the time they realise it, it’s often too late wallahul musta3an. But however insha’Allah I think there’s still a lot that could be done even if you have children etc. I knew some sisters abroad who were very hardworking, they’d be studying at every spare moment of their time (although I admit concentration might be shared between the books and the kids!)
That’s interesting because regardless of his actual involvement, children do look up to their father as the ‘leader’ as opposed to the mother whom they might view differently (perhaps more as a ‘friend’?). During the initial stages of childhood though, would you say the mother takes the role of a leader? Seeing as though perhaps the child looks up to her early on.
Assalaamu alaikum,
ameen to the ad3iya.
I suppose it differs in each family, but I think the leadership of mothers is inherent to motherhood and comes in two forms: active intention to lead (cultivating a leadership role in front of the kids, which not all mothers do), and passive leadership that occurs without real intention (simply from the kids observing her, which happens to all mothers).
The active role is one that a woman must choose to take as guardian of the house, guardian of the family time, guardian of the kids… the mother controls the day-to-day activities of kids way past early childhood. When she needs to cook, will she keep them occupied front of the tv or bring them close to the kitchen to check their memorization of the Qur’aan? Will she bring them to places of distraction (malls, play centers, arcades) or will she bring them to places of remembrance (halaqahs, nature, the masjid)? When she sees something wrong outside while her kids are with her, will she explain to them the hukm so that they become aware? When she sees them making white lies or beginning to flirt in early adolescence, will she admonish them or let kids be kids? Will she seek out righteous families with similarly aged kids to befriend, or will she be content with the closest neighbors’ kids? Most of the kids I’ve seen who became “astray” as they grew older had permissive mothers who “let them be kids” as they grew up, not taking their kids’ faults seriously, and didn’t realize that their kids needed to be constantly occupied with good people and activities.
The passive leadership is that children naturally follow their mothers’ lead in terms of behavior because she is the person they see the most – her akhlaaq is what they pattern themselves off of and this early exposure affects them for their whole life. Does she lose her temper and raise her voice? Does she visit the sick and elderly? Is she selfish with the family wealth or does she give freely? Does she spend her time on beneficial activities, or on shopping/tv/gossip? Does she choose her friends wisely or look for a good time? Does she obey the ahkam from Allah or does she make excuses (kids smell hypocrisy a mile away)?
Thinking about all of that – the responsibility of being a good example and also actively managing our kids’ time – I totally agree with the earlier comment that “the act of leading frightens me more than the physical pain associated with pregnancy and delivery.” I would happily go through natural labor and delivery every week if it guaranteed that my kids all grew up to be righteous scholars and leaders of the ummah!
wassalaam
Asma
Asma, may Allah reward you for your valuable input… I couldn’t agree with you more masha’Allah!
That’s so true. Sometimes if you see a child making a mistake and ask them ‘Why have you done that?’ They reply ‘S0-and-so does it too!’ – Unfortunately this so-and-so is at times an adult or an authorative figure! Having taught young children, it’s amazing how they view, comprehend and respond to their surroundings. Sometimes they pick up on messages and derive understandings that you never thought they’ll pick up on! I really do think we underestimate their intelligence and thought-process, and I guess if a mother doesn’t realise this, she’ll inevitably miss out on many things.
Jazakillahu khayran again sis, that was a really good insight you gave.
May Allaah make us great role-models for our children and society. Ameen
sis are you in london right now?
At this very second? Yeah, looks like I’m still here 🙂
assalamu ‘alaykum..
absolutely profound and i agree this book is amazing..
allaah ybarek feeki aameen
wswrwb