As-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullah
It was a cool Autumn evening a few years ago, when I decided to give one of my friends a random visit at her West London home. I didn’t know just how inspirational this little visit would be. We sat about, munched on good food, and talked for an awfully long time since we hadn’t seen each other for ages. It’s not every day I get personal with you guys on the blog, but I’ve wanted to share this for a while now, in the hopes that it helps at least one person out there…
I had recently returned from my first trip to Egypt, but I was a bit down as I had left unexpectedly and didn’t get to complete my studies. On top of that, it was rainy and gloomy in London which was the perfect weather for my mood (!) So, I decided to tell her everything from my self-diagnosed ‘depression’ which I claimed was a result of my return to London, to my fear of not progressing very far with Arabic. Turns out we were in similar boats…
Friend: “Well, I’m currently doing an Arabic crash course… Why don’t you come to class with me?”
Me: “Really?”
Friend: “Yeah! They’re currently planning the next level, so maybe you can talk to the teacher and see if they can help you.”
Me: “Alright, when are you starting?”
Friend: “Tomorrow…”
I literally slept over that night and attended class with her. I borrowed her pens, helped myself to some writing paper from the living room and walked right into the institute, as random as can be. I didn’t even have the funds to enrol. Alhamdulillah they allowed me to take a higher class, and as they say, the rest is history. But this is not what this post is about and it’s not what inspired me that week…
On one of the evenings, we retired to bed but for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep straight away. I just stared at the ceiling and reflected over many things, not knowing that my friend couldn’t sleep either.
Friend: “Are you awake?”
Me: O my God, yeah. I thought you were fast asleep.”
Friend: “Nope.”
Me: “Hmm. What are you thinking about?”
Friend: “I can’t believe we’re 20 years old.”
Me: “Subhan’Allah, yeah. We’re so old… Hey, we should do something.
Friend: “Like what? You know, I have this passion to do great things, but there’s so little time with our uni, work, family… At this rate, life will probably just pass us by and we’ll have achieved absolutely nothing.”
Me: “I know, subhan’Allah… But you know, maybe it doesn’t have to be like that. Maybe we should force ourselves to make time for what we wanna do, y’know?”
Friend: “How?”
Me: “Not sure…”
From the conversation we sound like a pair of grannies. But after some pauses, ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’, half sentences and moments of talking at the same time, we both came to the same conclusion…
“We should plan out the next few years!”
… And that’s how it all started. The beginning of great changes in our lives (ok, I do make it sound dramatic). But anyway, that night we didn’t really sleep, the both of us. Instead we spent it in some planning. We chatted and chatted, thought and thought, and we encouraged each other a lot.
Dawn came and we tied a promise: each of us was to draw up an A4 piece of paper with our personal 5 year plan. It was to include short term goals, long term goals, and ultimate goals. It had to be what we really wanted to achieve. It had to be feasible but at the same time it had to be high goals (no point in aiming low), and of course it had to be something beneficial. So, we broke down every aspect of our lives quite rigorously and then we rebuilt it into the form we wanted. We tried to project our vision into the future and then worked our way back. Quitting wasn’t an option.
This was a truly life changing moment.
I love planning. It’s one of those things that really disciplines a person and at the same time paves the way for success. It gives life, form and structure to your years and brings time-wasting down to an absolute minimum. If you don’t believe me, try it out. Plan the next week out and see how it goes.
I remember once giving a lecture on ‘Time Management’ to a group of sisters and the number of times I had to refer back to ‘planning’ and one’s ‘To-do lists’ was incredible; there’s a strong positive correlation between the two and as they say, ‘If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail’ – I couldn’t put it better.
A lot of the time, we fail to realise the Islamic aspect of planning. Some people might even feel uneasy about planning out the next whole 5 or 10 years because they believe it’s a form of ‘long hope’ (طول الأمل) and failing to remember death. But actually, it’s the exact opposite. The worst thing a Muslim can do is waste his/her time and fail to work towards death and the Hereafter. Perhaps the statement of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (radhiallahu `anhuma) is apt here when he said: “Work for your worldly life as if you shall live forever and work for your Hereafter as if you will die tomorrow.”
When a person puts together a plan, they are effectively putting their intentions down on paper. Think about it. If you sincerely want to achieve something and you write it among your goals, is it not an intention you just made? Bearing in mind the hadith of kitabat al-a’mal (writing down of deeds), what happens if your good intention fails to materialise as you wished? Yep, you got it: Allah `azza wa jall still rewards you for it. A 5 year plan is basically a collection of some of your intentions for the next 5 years. Even if you die before accomplishing them, Allah `azza wa jall will still reward you for each of those points because you made the intention and you had the firm resolve to do it. Reminds me of what one of the righteous before us said: “You attain by your intention what you cannot attain by your mere actions.”
I recently finished reading ‘The Alchemist’ and there was one quote from the book which stuck with me for a long time. It’s when the alchemist tells the boy, “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” I realised that this was actually a deeply-rooted Islamic concept. See, when a person makes a resolve to achieve something and is sincere in that, more often than not, Allah `azza wa jall helps them in their endeavour. He helps them realise their dream and it materialises as they start to put in the work.
So, dear reader, make a resolve to plan your life. Get a notepad and jot everything down.
It’s completely up to you how you decide to go about it; you can do a weekly plan, a monthly plan etc, but always make sure you have long term goals and aims. List the things you want to achieve in the next 5 years, the next 10 years and go for it.
You want to memorise Qur’an and learn Arabic/’ilm? Write it down.
You want to travel? Write it down.
You want to get married and raise children to the best of your ability? Write it down.
You want to get out of debt, sort out your finances, and gain stability? Write it down.
You want to turn a new leaf in your life, make a fresh start, and spring clean out all the rubbish?
Write, write, and write…
And when you write, be sincere. Begin in the Name of Allah, and finish it with a du’a and it doesn’t hurt offering 2 raka’ah of nafl prayer. Ask Allah to grant you tawfiq (guidance/success) and help you. You will soon see results.
To note: From experience I’ve noticed that there are various patterns which occur in a person’s life when they make a decision like this. You might go through emotional ups and downs (you’ll be excited, skeptical, happy, sad, motivated, disheartened etc), and sometimes it may feel like you’re taking 2 steps forward only to fall back a step. There’ll be days when you actually see your goals materialising but there’ll also be days when nothing seems to be happening. It’s unpredictable but yet at the same time, it’s pretty predictable like that.
When you plan, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have problems or that life won’t throw you about… no, that could happen. But the great thing about having a plan is that you get to see through the mist. Your vision is fixed on a certain goal and it acts as a rope which pulls you through whatever obstacle comes your way; you just gotta make sure not to let go…
Insha’Allah with some good planning, you can really turn your life around and actually achieve what may seem very distant now. You will snap out of laziness and lethargy, and you will find a new drive in life. You’ll gain confidence, motivation and you’ll always be busy (doing good things). These are the type of people Allah grants success to because their sincere intention was followed up with action.
Sometimes, you will feel that you’re not reaching your goal. The secret here is to keep going. When Allah sees a firm resolve from you, He will allow the heavens and the earth to fall at your service, and in one way or another, He will take you to your goal. This is called ‘taskhir’ in Arabic and many verses reflect how Allah has done this for us, out of His Kindness:
“And He has subjected to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth – all from Him. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [al-Jathiyah: 13]
“Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent?” [Luqman: 20]
I actually lost the sheet of my set of goals, just 2 years after writing it. I thought it was gone for good until last year when I was cleaning out old stuff in my house, I stumbled across a fragile and faint piece of folded-up paper. Subhan’Allah, it was my aims list. More than 5 years had passed since I wrote it… I sat down and began to read it. As I read each of the points, I realised that in one way or another, the 5-year plan had all materialised. One by one, the goals were either achieved in totality or a huge aspect of them had come to be. I was stunned. It felt like even though I lost the paper, faced many many obstacles along the road, it felt as if in the end Allah `azza wa jall took it upon Himself to complete my journey. I still shiver when I remember how I found my paper… just lying there by itself, old but intact, as if Allah wanted me to see it, and read for myself the fulfillment of His Promise.
Plan; and you will see that indeed, you can reach by your intentions what you cannot reach by your deeds alone. Everyone who plans and strives, reaps this at the end.
Some tips:
- The greatest secret when making a plan is knowing the Greatness of Allah. I cannot stress this point enough. Know Allah, trust His Capabilities, Know the amazing ways He works, and let Him be with you as you embark on your journey. Wallahi amazing things will happen for you.
- Sit with yourself and think about what you really really want to achieve. Yes, it can be worldly, but be smart and make sure that it also counts in the Hereafter (a believer always knows how to turn a mundane act into something rewardable).
- Be sincere. If you’re not, the only person you end up cheating is yourself.
- Be feasible and realistic about your plans. If you want to complete your education, count how many years you need and create enough space for that. We’re human so we cannot fly, but soaring through the sky does not require you to have wings, does it? Think logically but allow inspiration to work too.
- Be flexible in your planning. Give yourself enough room to deal with setbacks, problems and failed attempts. Don’t make your timeline so rigid and compact that any small fallback will mess everything up.
- Go easy on yourself. If something doesn’t work out, love yourself at that point and work with your strengths and weaknesses. Include moments when you can relax, and reward yourself if you feel that will help you to keep going.
- At the same time, don’t be too lenient on yourself that it throws you off your course. Know when to be strict and when to be easygoing.
- Stick to your plan. Don’t fall into the trap of throwing out your plan halfway or revising it so much that it no longer reflects your dreams. Stick to what your heart wants you to achieve.
- Keep your focus on the goal, but keep your wider focus on Allah and the Hereafter.
- Having a plan is a great stress-buster! You know why? Because you will not be mentally overwhelmed by things. Planning helps you put everything into its place and you can stand back and visualise your day, week, year etc. You’ll be one step ahead of yourself and this will bring you some ease and confidence. You will feel good and you will achieve more than you think.
Wa billahi al-tawfiq 🙂
“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” – The Alchemist
Jazak’Allahu Khairan for your beautiful post. Subhan’Allah I have been wondering recently how to attain forgiveness, stability
and many other things and your post has it all covered. May Allah reward you abundantly,
I was one of those who considered planning as “long hopes” and was scared to do it — so subhanAllah, Allah’s timing is impeccable. This was desperately something I needed to read right now. Jazakillah khair, sister. Your writing / blog has really been a coolness of my eyes. May Allah SWT reward you, preserve you, and increase you in barakah, knowledge and guidance <3
very powerful. gave me new strength.
assalamu alaikum wr wb…..did u happen to read my mind or something….iv been uneasy n unsettled for quite some time now….sooooo much to do but when?how?,was what i was thinking.this is the ultimate push for me if ever there is one..jazakAllah khair.love u sooooo much for the sake of Allah….n all this u came up with at 20????…mashaAllah!!!!!
Jazak Allahu Khaire. Think this post was tailor written for me and am sure will be of immense help.
Masha Allah ,a really refreshing and helpful, thought provoking article. Though I have read many of such kind of goal setting write ups, but we all end up needing a reminder on our way! JazakAllah khair
Bismillah. Assalamu alaykum dear Fajr. JazakAllahu Khairan fid-dunya wal-akhira for writing such a beneficial post for us, Ameen.
After reading your post, I felt compelled to share a bit about me. The words literally feel as though they are pounding against my heart and asking me to be let out here. So, I ask Allah to make me write nothing but the truth for the benefit of others and for the purpose of inspiration, without any trace of riya in it, Ameen.
Since I do not have any active blog of my own (except an old password protected one which I rarely update), I generally just browse and save/write notes and just keep them in a folder on my laptop. But I strongly feel that, by Allah’s Will, some part of what I’m about to write may someday help someone somewhere, InshaAllah. I think it ties with what this post is about in more than one way, so I hope you won’t mind if I end up writing something lengthy. I remember reading The Alchemist a few years, it left a great impression on me for a long time.
Just a little basics about me and how Allah (swt) have been looking after me so well, then InshaAllah, I’ll move on to the important part about goal setting/planning (please forgive me for the lengthy comment). I believe that all of us inherently have this habit of setting goals, unconsciously – they could be our thoughts to ourselves, our duas to Allah (swt) or things that we learnt or want to learn. Throughout my life until today, I can clearly see/feel 3 times in my life when I had this soul shattering awareness/awakening that pushes me closer to Allah (swt). The first was when I was 12 years old, the second when I had just turned 23 and coincidently, the third was also when I had just turned 26.
I’m a Muslimah and I was born into an already established big family. I’m the 6th of 7 children, Alhamdulillah. I’ve always been very close to my father, he used to dress me up for school and the other children would either dress up by themselves or older ones helped them. I felt really special by my dad’s extra attention towards me, despite being the 6th child born when he was 42. I remember when I was 6 years old, I was so attached to him that it tore my heart to pieces whenever he would travel and he’d travel often. My older siblings used to lock me in a different room because I’d ask him to either take me with him or don’t go at all. But obviously none of that happened. My mother (may Allah have mercy on her) was an extremely beautiful person, inside and out. But because she was mostly with other children, I got a very little share of my time with her. But Alhamdulillah for that, many kids don’t even get that. I never got to hug her, she never kissed me and I’d have to make up an excuse of asking her to oil my hair – just so that I could feel her hand on top of my hand. That used to feel extremely soothing. I wonder how I came up with that at such a young age, lol.
I recently looked back at my life keeping these 3 factors in front of me: my duas, my goal and Allah’s help in tying them all together for me. What I realized was earth shattering revelation for me. Here’s how:
When I was 6 years old, we went for Umrah and the bus had an accident and although it’s hard to believe, but our bus was loaded on top of a huge trailer, with all of us STILL inside the bus. It continued all the way back to our country. Some co-passengers told my parents that I kept shouting “Lailaha illallah” every time the bus jerked even a little at any turn. I remember this clearly. Yes, I was chanting very loudly. I didn’t know much about Allah or tasbeeh at that time. I felt a bit awkward afterwards because people were looking at the little me. Allah knew this.
When I was 12 years old, I used to win a lot of Islamic quiz competitions at school events and I often used to get ranks between 1 and 5 out of a class of 40 students. One of my teacher encouraged me to work harder. I had recently started offering Salah and I used to cry my heart out in the Sujood asking Allah to grant me that coveted 1st grade position. SubhanAllah, and I did end up with very many first grades in several terms and classes, Alhamdulillah. At that time, I didn’t know that we are closest to Allah in the Sujood. It was an act of the fitrah guided by Allah (swt). But therein crept sibling rivalry, although it did erode a part of me, but at the same time it also kept me humble (which I’m able to see now) and I think I wouldn’t have tried harder otherwise, so Alhamdulillah. In the following years, every time Ramadan would end, I’d just go to the balcony and cry by myself in a corner. I used to compete with my friends over how many chapters we’d finish (now I know we shouldn’t do that, but I was a pre-teen/teen), but it was really the “feel” of Ramadan that caused me to shed those tears. It was then that I used to recite the Quran with my mother – I used to read it out loud to her and she would follow. She was never taught the Arabic alphabets, but SubhanAllah, she managed to memorize 99 names of Allah (along with her I did too at the age of 12, but I didn’t know about the depth of Asma wa Sifat at that age), she memorized Surah Muzammil (because she loved the sound of it) and she memorized Surah Yasin and several other duas. SubhanAllah her voice and her recitation. I try to remember it and I get goose bumps. I got my first pay cheque and I placed it her hands, she asked me to keep it. The first thing I bought was a Holy Quran with English translation and I donated that to the masjid, then I spent the rest on myself. I often think how would my life had been had I kept that copy for myself and read it. A few years later I was 18, her health failed. Due to her condition, I couldn’t learn basic life skills from her, but Alhamdulillah I sent so many people in my life who taught me so much! Alhamdulillah when my mother was in the hospital, it was my turn to stay overnight with her. I got back from my job and my oldest sister hid in the toilet because she “didn’t feel” like leaving mom, she gave her last drink of Zamzam – I could see her tongue became purple (may Allah have mercy on my mother). That was the night I spoke to her for the last time as I saw her up close, dying right in front of my eyes. She had suffered a lot during her life, when the last breaths left her, I was strangely drawn towards her. I whispered in her ear, “I’ll pray for you” and took her hand and placed in on my head for the last time. Then we called our family and SubhanAllah to this day I remember the Sakeenah Allah bestowed on me. I was poised, calm and while everyone was crying, both older and younger than me, I was the one to go to the reception and ask them to arrange the last rights. I wanted to do more. I didn’t know how. Allah knew this.
When I was 23 years old, I went through a terrible experience at the place where I used to work and only Allah (swt) saved me from it by taking away a $2,700/month job away from me, despite giving away 1/4 of it to charity monthly. Otherwise if I had continued there, my personality would have been utterly destroyed. I refused to take my gratuity etc. The following months were difficult as I had no money and kept looking for purpose. That’s when I seriously got into helping others and got involved in various projects. It was through one such project, that I was redirected to one Islamic center, then other and then other. It was then that I had met my teacher who left a profound impact on my life. She taught me a lot through her classes, actions and words, Alhamdulillah. It was due to her classes that I started going to Itikaaf and Alhamdulillah for the last 4 years, Allah (swt) has given me the opportunity to do that and I pray that He blesses me to do so every year of my life, Ameen.
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT HERE: My teacher taught me about goals and planning. SubhanAllah her idea was marvelous and I have seen it work, by the Power of Allah. She asked us to make, not a goal list, a “DUA LIST”. Put everything it from a small shoe lace to Firdaws Al Aa’la. I even prayed for a special friend of mine to quit music (because it sounded trashy) and that Allah (swt) helps him find a job. And I added that and everything else that I could think of. I did that for all the years after that until this past Ramadan, Alhamdulillah. In short, I can tell you that Allah (swt) is making me live my dua list of 2009. I looked back at the amount of writings on the page and SubhanAllah. Examples include me wanted to be guided (not knowing what it meant but I knew there was something more than what I knew), to me becoming a teacher, to me studying in a university without even having a 100 bucks in my bag, to having my own home, fully furnished and paid for one year, SubhanAllah. Amongst about 50 to 70 duas on that page, I had also asked for Wisdom and Good Character. SubhanAllah – I did not know how much pain one has to go through to get these two things. It justifies the hadith about good character being the heaviest on the scales, I think I understand why. I wanted to learn Tajweed and the way in which Allah guided me to my Quran teacher, is a book by itself InshaAllah, then I wanted a book in English so I could understand her Arabic. I found a book in prayer room it was sister Kareema Cerepinski (may Allah reward her) – THAT IS ONE BOOK! SubhanAllah, I took it from the prayer room and felt bad later so I photocopied it and returned to the prayer room. It was just part 2 and I wanted the other parts but couldn’t buy it. SubhanAllah, I go to my local masjid a sister sees this book and tells me she has other parts! SubhanAllah, now I have part 1 and 2 copied and I’m sure part 3 will come soon in my life, InshaAllah. I’m literally overwhelmed while writing this! Now I’m a Tajweed teacher teaching children below age 10, SubhanAllah. Rabbi zidni ilma, Ameen. She encouraged me to wear niqab, I wore it from 2006 till 2011 but with insincerity and I’d take it off wherever I felt that should I take off. But now, Alhamdulillah, before restarting my niqab, I prayed 2 rakaah and I declared to Allah that now I’m wearing it only for Him and asked me for steadfastness and strength. I was difficult to go back to the uni with it, but Alhamdulillah it was easy as well. I was received with warmth.
May Allah (swt) bless my teacher abundantly and protect her, Ameen. I wanted to learn so much more and do so much more. Allah knew this. So He guided me more.
I’m 26 now, and this year has been one of a kind year for me, Alhamdulillah. I met some people who, by Allah’s Will, caused my life to be turned 360 degrees around. It was all in there somewhere inside of me – they acted as a trigger to get it all out, Alhamdulillah. Allah is truly Al Hakeem. I’m still getting to grips with the idea of guidance and being guided. It is nothing like what I used to know before. And I am clearly able to see the difference from before and what I know now. I also know that there are more levels of Iman and guidance and I ask Allah to guide me to those levels, make me steadfast and firm on them and make me close to Him, Ameen. I keep being pushed in the same direction through different means without even trying. SubhanAllah I can feel the encouragement and Allah’s Mercy surround me from everywhere. I can not express this year in words, InshaAllah, may be in future I’ll be able to write better about it as it is still sinking in. Alhamdulillah for everything.
In short, based on my personal experiences, all of have goals and plans – they are our duas! Writing them is a huge step. Actually the biggest step one can take in self-development. I did this 4 years ago and I can see the ripple effects now.
Please forgive me for rambling on and on, about something that is personal and may not hold significant value to many – but to me, it changed my life for the better, Alhamdulillah. I just wanted to share this overwhelming sense of being aware of Allah (swt) in our lives. It truly is a special gift.
SO, YES, WRITING THOSE DUAS OR GOALS, AS THEY SAY, IS SUPER IMPORTANT. YOU’LL SEE THEIR EFFECTS INSHAALLAH. Please do write more, Fajr.
All Praise is due to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. Peace and blessings on our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), his family, companions and righteous followers, Ameen.
Wasalam,
Sister NM,
Wa `alaykumusalam wa rahmatullah
Ameen, wa iyyakum dear sisters.
Sister NM, may Allah reward you immensely for sharing that with us. It was a beautiful and deep read, tabarak’Allah! Loved it 🙂 I ask Allah to continue guiding you and bestowing upon you His Favours, ameen.
To all readers: Please do keep sharing your thoughts, I read every one of your comments and even if I don’t respond please know that it often leaves a smile on my face and warmth in my heart, especially when I read that someone benefits in some way (because it means Allah has brought you here and not me!). Jazakum’Allahu khayran.
Assalamu alaykum dear Fajr. THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading my lengthy post, I’m happy that you actually managed to read it, Alhamdulillah. Ameen to your dua and I pray the same for you, Ameen.
You know sister, I later remembered to add one more thing in my comment. It was about how Allah (swt) choose me to be with my mother in her last moments amongst all the children. When I think about that, I really feel very grateful to Allah (swt).
The other good thing that happened at the uni was that Allah (swt) introduced me to a new niqabi sister at the uni who just joined the uni. She is from Kazakhstan. MashaAllah she also wears niqab and strongly follows the Salafi minhaj which I am trying to follow as well, by Allah’s Will. We both asked each other the same questions and she asked me about my aqeedah and Alhamdulillah we connected instantly. So that’s a relief to have one supportive sister there. I see how Allah (swt) sends the right people in our life at the right time.
Sister, if you don’t mind may I request you for something? Since Allah (swt) has bestowed you with blessed knowledge, eloquence and a great writing talent, could you write something about Polygamy? Please don’t get me wrong, I mean it in the positive light along with the enormous amount of benefit it can bring to the society. How can believing women prohibit something which Allah (swt) has allowed for His slaves’ benefit? You have no idea how much debate I get into with my close friends and sisters on this topic and I get outnumbered. That’s why I generally just try to avoid this topic altogether. Till now, I’m yet to meet sisters who are pro-polygamy (except one I know, MashaAllah). Even when I wasn’t very well-informed about the intricacies of the Islamic legislations, I held the same view, Alhamdulillah. My father remarried 2 months after my mother passed away, it was difficult initially, but SubhanAllah I could see the benefits of that happening in our life and the support which my dad received through her. I still can not convince my sisters about the good in our step mom. May Allah (swt) guide me and my family, Ameen. You know there was one brother who wanted me to be his second wife and I would have gladly accepted – except for the reason that I found out that his aqeedah was that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was unlike us and that we can pray to him and there were a few other reasons which made me fear him for being harmed by him. May Allah (swt) protect me and all sisters from such brothers, Ameen.
I had been reading a book called “Polygamy and the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)” by Muhammed al-Sayed Muhammed. You can download it in pdf format in case you are interested. I believe if women practice Zuhd and encourage their husbands to adhere to justice, then polygamy can help build a very strong Muslim society with fewer single sisters, InshaAllah. I mean what other solution do we have? It is definitely better than any haram, suspicion, doubts, jealousy and similar fitnah people may fall into. I don’t understand how can sisters say they believe in the Quran in its entirety, yet go against polygamy which is made permissible in the Holy Quran by Allah (swt). Naoudubillah, some sisters have told me that a man needs to take permission from his wife to marry a second one – I don’t think that’s true though (I’m not really very sure about that). I want to understand this in a way which helps me talk about it better so I can make other sisters/aunties understand this. At the moment, my only argument is that what will all these single sisters do if not accept polygamy? Some sisters get so mad at me and say that it’s not as easy as I think – but then again, how difficult can it be if we try to enlarge our hearts and place firm trust in Allah (swt) and be a firm support to the husband and co-wife. I heard of a family where co-wives helped in looking after each others children, I found that cute, lol. He is the One who gives unlimited bounties to whomsoever He pleases.
Would it be possible for you to write something about this InshaAllah whenever you have the chance to? I’ve been thinking of writing about it myself, but haven’t been able to for various reasons. InshaAllah someday I’d love to have a detailed and beneficial conversation with you so I can learn more as I am a writer myself. JazakAllahu Khairan.
Wasalam,
NM
Wa iyyaki sister.
Regarding the request, lol I think it’s perhaps better I refrain from writing anything on marriage until I actually get married myself! But you know, polygamy is another one of those topics that everyone seems to have an opinion on. It comes with guidelines and of course has it’s own Fiqh, but customs and ‘urf also play a large part in it. So I don’t think its very fruitful to get into heated debates with people where one side is championing it and the other side bashing it. Most people won’t reach an agreement! So perhaps it’s best to save your energy 🙂
assalaamu alayakum NM
Polygamy is a beautiful thing but just a point to note,ploygamy is often abused .People done give or receive the rights n duties.So yeah ,if someone does;nt wants to be part of it then it must be ok.Those who want to go for it ,again it must be just ok.
Assalaamualaaykum
Nice read mashallah,if things are not progressing check out the possibilities of sihr,mass or al ayn.
Assalam u Alaikum..
Masha Allah another inspiring read! I’ve been following your blog ever since its very first days and enjoy and benefit a lot Alhumdulillah. May Allah reward you and make our intentions solely for His sake. Ameen
Jazak Allah Khayr! 🙂
Asalamualaykum wa rahmathullahi wa barakathuhu
masha allah, isn’t it wonderful(alhamdulillah) when Allah (subuhanahu wa ta’ala) brings about the right stuff just in front of you @ the right time!!
I am sooo soo happy to read both sister Fajr’s blogpost n sister NM’s comment
may Allah bless u both immensly n grant Jannah
aameen
sister Fajr, i wrote down all ur points in a book for future referrence n to read it again n be motivated, in sha allah
all the lines, each n evry words were so helpful to people like me
Sister NM if u dont mind can u add me in facebook or give me ur mail id! I really would like to talk about polygamy!! (if u dnt mind!)
once again alhamdulillah n jazaak allah khair for this fabulous post n comments
Aysha
Wa `alaykumusalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh
I’m so glad to hear all the positiveness sisters! May Allah bless your endeavors and help you achieve all your goals and dreams, ameen.
UmmSalih,
Oh dear, you mean including the cringe-worthy posts in my early days where I over zealously used to babble away? 🙂 (Please everyone avoid the old archives on this blog lol). No, I’m just playing sis, I pray you and everyone benefits from the little that is on here. Taqabbal’Allahu minna.
I thought I was the only only one who felt this post came at the right time! My jaws litterally dropped-I so needed to read this. I ask Allah to bless you our dear sister fajr.
Assalam u alaikum..
hehe, your older posts were as good, I really enjoyed Alhumdulillah! 🙂 Ameen!
seems this post is directed to me. jazakillahu khayran sister Fajr. very helpful. something I needed…..
Ameen wa iyyakum. Something I read which is needed for this topic:
Also something my father (may Allah reward him) continuously tells me:
Reblogged this on Quran and Sunnah.
Jazakallah Khair for this post…I actually just wrote one about the plans in our life…(coincidence? lol) I think your post was very insightful and hopeful. May Allah Bless you!
اسئل الله ان يرحمنا. جزاكما الله خيرا يا اختي فجر و.
and sister nm
Loved this post!