As-salaamu `alaykum wa rahmatullaah

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As I think I promised before, below is the extended translation of the poem of Imaam al-Shaafiโ€™ee as he lay on his deathbed. Iโ€™ve also translated Shaykh al-โ€˜Afasyโ€™s video titled โ€œI am the servantโ€ โ€“ the full video is also below.

Mashaaโ€™Allaah both were very touching and I hope everyone finds benefit in them. Please forgive me for the lack of professionalism and accuracy in the translation ofย al-Shafiโ€™eeโ€™s piece โ€“ it was extremely difficult and beyond my scope (after all, he was unchallenged in poetry at his time!)

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ุฅู„ูŽูŠูƒูŽ ุฅู„ู€ู‡ู ุงู„ุฎูŽู„ู’ู€ู‚ ุฃุฑู’ููŽู€ู€ุนู ุฑูŽุบุจูŽุชููŠ *** ูˆโ€˜ู†ู’ ูƒูู†ุชู ูŠูŽุง ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูŽู†ู‘ ูˆุงู„ุฌููˆุฏู ู…ูุฌู’ุฑูู…ุง

โ€˜To You, the Creator, I raise my longing,
And even if I am, O possessor of kindness and generosity, an evildoer, a criminal

ูˆู„ู…ู‘ูŽุง ู‚ูŽุณูŽู€ุง ู‚ู„ุจูŠ ูˆุถูŽู€ุงู‚ุช ู…ูŽุฐุงู‡ูุจูŠ *** ุฌูŽุนูŽู„ุชู ุงู„ุฑูŽุฌู€ุง ู…ูู†ูŠ ู„ูุนูŽููˆูƒูŽ ุณูŽู„ูู…ู€ู€ุง

When my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow,
I took my hope in Your pardon and forgiveness as an opening and an escape

ุชุนูŽุงุธูŽู…ูŽู†ู€ูŠ ุฐู†ุจู€ูŠ ูู„ู…ู‘ูŽู€ุง ู‚ุฑูู†ุชู€ูู€ู‡ู *** ุจุนูŽููˆูƒูŽ ุฑุจู‘ููŠ ูƒูŽุงู†ูŽ ุนูŽู€ูู’ูˆูƒูŽ ุฃุนู’ุธูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

My sins seemed very great to me but when I compared them to Your forgiveness,
I found Your forgiveness to be much greater

ูู…ูŽุง ุฒูู„ุชูŽ ุฐุง ุนููˆ ุนูŽู† ุงู„ุฐู†ู’ุจู ู„ูŽู…ู’ ุชูŽุฒูู„ู’ *** ุชูŽู€ุฌูู€ูˆุฏ ูˆุชุนู€ููˆ ู…ู†ุฉู‹ ูˆุชูŽูƒูŽุฑู‘ูู…ู€ู€ู€ุง

You are and still remain the only One who can forgive sins,
You grant and forgive out of Your benevolence and generosity

ูู„ูˆู„ุงูƒูŽ ู„ูŽู€ู…ู’ ูŠูŽุตู’ู…ูู€ุฏู’ ู„ุฅุจู„ู€ูŠุณู ุนูŽุงุจุฏูŒ *** ููƒูŽูŠููŽ ูˆู‚ุฏู’ ุฃุบู’ูˆูŽู‰ ุตูŽูู’ูŠูŽูƒ ุขุฏูู…ู€ู€ู€ุง

Were it not for You, then a servant could never defy Iblis
And how can that be when he mislead Your friend Adam

ููŠูŽุงู„ูŠู’ุชูŽ ุดูŽุนู’ู€ู€ุฑููŠ ู‡ูŽู„ ุฃุตูŽูŠุฑู ู„ูุฌู†ุฉ *** ุฃู‡ู†ู€ู€ู€ุงุŸ ูˆุฃู…ู‘ูŽู€ุง ู„ู„ุณู‘ูŽุนููŠุฑ ูุฃู†ู’ุฏูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

If only I knew! Will I arrive at Paradise that I may take delight
Or at Hellfire, that I may regret?

ูู„ู„ู‘ู‡ู ุฏูŽุฑ ุงู„ุนูŽู€ู€ู€ุงุฑููู ุงู„ู€ู†ู€ุฏุจู ุฅู†ู‘ูŽู‡ *** ุชูŽููŠุถ ู„ูุฑู’ุทู ุงู„ูˆูŽุฌู’ุฏ ุฃุฌูุงู†ูู‡ ุฏูŽู…ู‘ูŽู€ู€ู€ุง

How capable is Allah! For the one acquainted with lament,
blood almost flows from his eyelids due to the excess of his emotions (lament)

ูŠูŽู‚ูŠู€ู…ู ุฅุฐุง ู…ูŽู€ุง ุงู„ู„ูŠู„ู ู…ูŽุฏู‘ูŽ ุธูŽู„ุงู…ูŽู€ู€ู‡ *** ุนู„ู‰ ู†ูŽูุณูู‡ู ู…ูู† ุดุฏู‘ูŽุฉู ุงู„ุฎูŽูˆูู ู…ูŽุฃุชู…ู€ุง

He stands when the night extends out its darkness
Stands against himself out of extreme fear, sinful

ูุตููŠุญุงู‹ ุฅุฐุง ู…ุง ูƒู€ุงู†ูŽ ููŠ ุฐูƒู’ู€ุฑู ุฑูŽุจู‘ูู‡ *** ูˆููŠู…ุง ุณููˆูŽุงู‡ู ููŠ ุงู„ูˆูŽุฑู‰ ูƒุงู† ุฃุนู’ุฌูŽู…ู€ุง

Eloquent when he makes mention of his Lord
And in the mention of others than Him, he is speechless

ูˆูŠูŽุฐูƒูุฑู ุฃูŠู‘ูŽุงู…ู€ุงู‹ ู…ูŽุถูŽู€ุชู’ ู…ูู† ุดูŽุจูŽุงุจู€ู‡ *** ูˆู…ุง ูƒุงู† ููŠู‡ุง ุจุงู„ุฌูŽู‡ูŽู€ุงู„ุฉ ุฃุฌู’ุฑูŽู…ู€ู€ู€ุง

He remembers days gone by of his youth
And what was in it of ignorance, he was a criminal

ูุตูŽุงุฑูŽ ู‚ูŽุฑูŠู†ู ุงู„ู‡ู…ู‘ู ุทููˆู„ูŽ ู†ู‡ูŽู€ู€ู€ุงุฑูู‡ *** ุฃุฎุง ุงู„ุณู‘ูŽู‡ุฏู ูˆุงู„ู†ุฌูˆู‰ ุฅุฐุง ุงู„ู„ูŠู„ ุฃุธู„ู…ู€ุง

And so for the whole of his day, the companion of grief has become
the brother of sleeplessness and secret conversation when the night darkens

ูŠู‚ูˆู„: ุญูŽุจูŠุจูŠ ุฃู†ู€ุชูŽ ุณูุคู„ููŠ ูˆุจูŽุบูŠุชูŠ *** ูƒูู‰ ุจูƒูŽ ู„ู„ุฑู‘ูŽุงุฌู€ูŠู€ู†ูŽ ุณูุคู„ุงู‹ ูˆู…ุบู†ู…ู€ุง

He says, โ€˜My beloved, You are what I request and desire
You are enough of a longing and benefit for those who have hope

ุฃู„ู€ุณู’ุชูŽ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุบุฐูŠู’ุชู†ูŠ ูˆู‡ูŽู€ู€ุฏูŽูŠู’ุชู†ูŠ *** ูˆู„ุง ุฒู„ุชูŽ ู…ูŽู†ู€ู‘ูŽุงู†ู€ุง ุนู„ูŠู‘ ูˆู…ูู†ุนูู€ู…ู€ู€ุง

Are You not the One who has provided for me and guided me
And You have not ceased being gracious to me and full of favours

ุนุณูŽู‰ ู…ูŽู†ู’ ู„ูŽู€ู‡ู ุงู„ุฅุญู’ุณูŽุงู†ูŽ ูŠูŽุบููุฑู ุฒูŽู„ุชููŠ *** ูˆูŠูŽุณู’ุชุฑู ุฃูˆู’ุฒุงุฑููŠ ูˆู…ู€ุง ู‚ู€ุฏู’ ุชู‚ุฏู‘ูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

Perhaps the Beneficent One will forgive my mistakes
And cover up my crime and what has gone forth

ุชุนุงุธู…ูŽู†ูŠ ุฐู†ุจู€ูŠ ูุฃู‚ุจู„ุชู ุฎุงุดูุนู€ู€ุงู‹ *** ูˆูŽู„ูˆู’ู„ุง ุงู„ุฑู‘ูุถูŽู€ุง ู…ุง ูƒู†ุชู ูŠูŽุงุฑุจู‘ู ู…ูู†ุนูŽู…ู€ุง

My sins seemed very great to me, so I turned (to You) in humility
Were it not for my contentment in you, I wouldnโ€™t, O my Lord, have seen any comfort at all

ูุฅู†ู’ ุชุนู’ูู ุนูŽู†ูŠ ุชุนู’ูู ุนูŽู€ู†ู’ ู…ูุชู…ูŽุฑู‘ูุฏ *** ุธู„ูˆู… ุบุดู€ู€ูˆู… ู„ุง ูŠูŽู€ุฒุงูŠูŽู€ู„ูŽ ู…ุฃุชู…ู€ุง

So if You forgive me, You would have forgiven a sinner,
A rebellious, oppressive tyrant still sinning

ูุฅู† ุชู†ุชู€ู‚ู€ูู…ู’ ู…ูู†ูŠ ูู„ุณุชู ุจุขูŠู€ุณู *** ูˆู„ูˆ ุฃุฏุฎู„ูˆุง ู†ูุณูŠ ุจุฌู€ูู€ุฑู’ู… ุฌูŽู‡ูŽู†ู‘ูŽู…ู€ุง

So if You were to seek revenge from me, I would not despair
Even if they entered my soul into Jahannum, due to the sins

ูุฌูุฑู’ู…ููŠ ุนูŽุธูŠู… ู…ูู† ู‚ุฏูŠู… ูˆุญู€ูŽู€ุงุฏูุซ *** ูˆุนููˆูƒูŽ ูŠูŽุฃุชูŠ ุงู„ุนูŽุจู’ู€ุฏูŽ ุฃุนู’ู„ู‰ ูˆุฃุฌู’ุณูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

For my crimes are great, past and present
But Your forgiveness comes to the servant, more exalted and more great

ุญูˆุงู„ูŠ ู‘ูŽ ูุถู„ู ุงู„ู„ู‡ ู…ูู† ูƒู„ู‘ู ุฌูŽุงู†ูู€ุจ *** ูˆู†ูˆุฑูŒ ู…ูู† ุงู„ุฑู‘ูŽุญู…ู€ูŽู† ูŠููุชุฑุด ุงู„ุณู‘ูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

The bounty of Allaah surrounds me from all sides
And Light from the Most Merciful has spread in the sky

ูˆููŠ ุงู„ู‚ู„ุจู ุฅุดุฑุงู‚ู ุงู„ู…ุญุจ ุจูˆูŽุตู’ู„ูู‡ *** ุฅุฐุง ู‚ุงุฑุจ ุงู„ุจูู€ุดุฑูŽู‰ ูˆุฌูŽุงุฒูŽ ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุญู…ู‰

And in the heart is the radiance of the beloved when he is reunited
And when glad tidings draw close, it becomes feverish

ุญูˆุงู„ูŠ ุฅูŠู†ู€ู€ุงุณ ู…ูู† ุงู„ู„ู‡ ูˆูŽุญู’ู€ุฏูŽู‡ *** ูŠูุทุงู„ุนูŽู†ูŠ ูููŠ ุธู„ู€ู…ู€ุฉู ุงู„ู‚ุจุฑุฃู†ุฌูŽู…ู€ู€ุง

Exhilaration surrounds me, only for Allaah
It overlooks me in the darkness of the grave, apparent and clear

ุฃุตููˆู†ู ูˆูŽุฏุงุฏูŠ ุฃู† ูŠูุฏู†ู‘ุณู€ู‡ ุงู„ู‡ูŽูˆูŽู‰ *** ูˆุฃุญูุธู ุนู€ูŽู‡ู’ุฏู ุงู„ู€ุญูุจู‘ู ุฃู† ูŠูŽุชุซู„ู…ู€ู€ุง

I protect my love, lest my desires should pollute it
And I preserve the contract of love, lest it be defiled

ูููŠ ูŠูŽู‚ุธุชููŠ ุดูŽูˆู’ู‚ูŒ ูˆููŠ ุบูŽููˆูŽุชููŠ ู…ู†ู‰ *** ุชู„ุงุญู€ูู‚ู ุฎูู€ุทูˆูŽู‰ ู†ู€ุดูˆูŽุฉู‹ ูˆุชุฑู†ู…ู€ุง

In my wakefulness is yearning and in my slumber is destiny
Thatโ€™s pursuing my footsteps in ecstasy

ูˆู…ูŽู† ูŠูŽุนู’ุชุตูู…ู’ ุจุงู„ู„ู‡ ูŠูุณูŽู„ู… ู…ูู† ุงู„ูˆูŽุฑูŽู‰ *** ูˆู…ูŽู† ูŠูŽุฑู’ุฌู‡ ู‡ูŽู€ูŠู’ู‡ูŽุงุชู ุฃู†ู’ ูŠูŽุชู†ุฏูู…ู€ู€ู€ุง

Whoever holds fast to Allaah, he is protected from men
And whoever hopes for Him, then never will he regret